Troll Removal

If you’ve spotted trolls cavorting underneath your neighbourhood bridge, creeping around your community’s cave-dwelling, or raiding the cookie jars, call Monster Mashers Inc.

Over the years, we’ve risen the ranks in the troll-removal industry, outpacing even the swiftest dwarves—longtime mortal enemies of the dreaded troll. We’ve toppled the competition by taking the time to understand trolls and their ways of life. At this stage in our careers, we’re proud to say we know trolls better than anybody. We think like trolls. We speak like trolls. Sadly, we even look like trolls.

For swift and competitively priced troll removal services, call us today. 

Your Trusted Troll Trappers

Trolls are large, slow, old man-eating creatures that hide on the outskirts of communities. Though their appetites vary between bikini season and the rest of the year, most trolls are pretty fond of eating humans. When they need to pay off debts or find a meal, they make their way into town to wreak havoc.

Trolls are quite dim-witted, but they possess a dim-wittedness few except us truly understand. While others waste time sketching big plans and conspiring to catch trolls, we let the trolls fall right into our trap.

Shining Light on the Troll Situation

If it has been awhile since you’ve brushed up on your Scandinavian folklore, you might not remember the troll’s ultimate weakness: sunlight. Sun turns trolls to stone, for reasons unknown. At Monster Mashers, we make use of this weakness whenever possible. By luring trolls into the light of day, we freeze them in their tracks. It is once they’ve turned to stone that we really put ourselves to work.

Very Fast Turnarounds on Stone Removal

And we mean fast. Time is of the absolute essence once a troll turns to stone. Depending on the time of year, we might only have three or four hours before night falls. If we’ve shown up to the site very late—it happens—we might only have forty-five minutes.

Rest assured, we lug that several-hundred-pound mound of stone off your property in little time. You don’t need to worry about where the stone goes after that. That is for us and the parking lot of Walmart to worry about. If these slow and dim-witted man-eaters make their way back to your property, don’t hesitate to call us.

Affordable Tolls for the Removal of Trolls

It is true. To get rid of the troll, you gotta pay the toll.

Thanks to our minimal overhead costs and our partnership with the leading troll repellant producers, we’re able to keep rates low.

We Say No to Norwegian Trolls

Before we go further, we should mention that we only extend our services to those tormented by trolls from Sweden or Denmark. They’re easy to get rid of. Norwegian trolls, however—the ones that kidnap children—we don’t deal with them. They’re very scary. That’s a no from us.