Krampus Control

When Krampus gets loose, Christmas chaos ensues. Monsters Mashers Inc. specializes in the quick and cost-effective removal of this beastly pest—just in time for the caroling and tree decorating festivities to begin.

Have Krampus claws snatched your holiday cheer? Get in touch with Monster Mashers Inc. to get that grinch in a pinch!

What Is Krampus?

In North America, the Christmas season brings along with it bright, twinkling lights, stockings by the fire, and magical snowfalls. Young tots and tweens eagerly await the arrival of Saint Nick down the chimney—what they might not be expecting to touch down on the hearth is a hellish horned brute carrying anything but good cheer.

Krampus is a butt-ugly half-goat, half-demon that embodies the polar opposite of good old Saint Nicolas’ spirit. While rosy-cheeked Santa Claus bestows gifts and goodies to the little children, Krampus torments those found on his Naughty list, bringing nothing but punishment and pain.

Signs That Krampus Is at Bay

Worried that Krampus may be cramping your Christmas style? Keep an eye out for these telltale signs that the holiday spirit in your home may be in danger:

• Cloven hoof marks in the snow around the perimeter of your home.
• Birch bark is strewn about the house (Krampus is known to swat at children with birch branches).
• Christmas lights flicker mysteriously at the mention of Santa Claus or Saint Nick.
• The schnapps (Krampus’ guilty pleasure) has disappeared from your cabinets.

If you suspect Krampus is lurking about where he shouldn’t, contact the MM Inc. pros for fast-acting assistance.

Preparing for a Krampus Attack

The great thing about warding off a Krampus is that they always strike on the same night of the year: December 5, otherwise known as Krampusnacht. On this dark day, hairy, fanged Krampus from all over the world emerge from their cragged caves and sniff out the misbehaved children sleeping sweetly in their beds.

Santa’s creepy nemesis is a sneaky savage but sure to pose no rival for the Monster Mashers clan! Andy and Mad Max Doomslaughter possess a tried and true manual for defending homes against Krampus invasions. Our strategy goes a little something like this:

1. Get Grandma and Grandma to babysit. Just in case.
2. Remove all fruit-flavored schnapps from premises (this alcoholic beverage is a surefire Krampus attractant).
3. Fill every room with copious amounts of milk and cookies (the Krampus may think that Saint Nick is expected to arrive and flee in fear).
4. Patrol the property until morning light (and blast those beasts to smithereens if they appear).

By dawn, we guarantee your Krampus conundrum will be a thing of the past.