Jabberwocky Removal

At Monster Mashers Inc., we know how unruly a Jabberwocky can be. Just when you think you’ve rid yourself of the loud-mouthed Jabberwock, there it appears again, ravaging your village, eating the peasants, and never stopping to say hello.

Some days it can seem like there is no potion or product that can get rid of these unruly visitors. For those moments when asking nicely just doesn’t cut it, or swords and shields can’t fend off the Jabberwock, the Monster Mashers are just a phone call away.

Offering the absolute finest in monster removal, we specialize in humanely removing even the most inhumane, vengeful creatures from homes, businesses, forbidden forests, and everything in between. Return those creatures to from whence they came—and for no more than a few schillings. Call us today to request our services (also reachable via telepathy or carrier pigeon).

Monsters Fear Us, Mankind Reveres Us

The Jabberwocky has had a long and storied life. Its origins are unknown, but we first read of the monster in the writings of historian Lewis Carroll, who wrote the biography Alice in Wonderland, which the documentary of the same name was based off. It has survived the centuries by eating unlucky humans and never failing to sleep for eight hours a night, as recommended by doctors.

With the body of a dragon, a fish-like head, and talons for hands, the J.W. cuts quite the figure. That said, it sometimes takes a true monster hunter to identify and eliminate them.

Are you unsure whether they creature stalking your halls in the dead of night is the mythological Jabberwock itself or just Grandpa making his way to the fridge? Call us today.

Monster Removal Done Our Way

When a Jabber has followed you from the forbidden forest to the confines of your home, you might get the urge to lure them off your property and into the humble abode of a nasty neighbor. Rather than doing that, we suggest you call us. We’ll examine the tread marks on your lawn, the bite marks on your chimney, and the claw marks on your raided cookie jar. Once we’ve determined the Jabberwock is afoot, we will get to work.

Fusing ancient Vorpal swordplay with the fine arts of misdirection and distraction, we steer Jabbers off your property with little hassle. It never takes long for us to lead them right into a Jabber-sized cage!

We Make Monsters Stay Away

We do more than remove monsters from your property. We take measures to make sure they don’t return. Once we’ve secured the perimeter around your property, we will sub-contract reputable excavators to dig an unfathomably deep moat around your property. With this line of defense, those monsters will stay away for good.

Say Sayonara to Those Jabberwocks

People who say the Jabberwocky is fearless just haven’t seen our team in action.

If there is a large-winged chimera with a fish-like head and an appetite for the heads of peasants, call us at your convenience. With our help, we will rid your settlement, manor, or moat of these unsightly beasts. Call us at your convenience.

Shillings, credit, and cattle accepted as payment.