Elf Removal

We aren’t sure why you’d want to remove these adorable half-lings from your property. Perhaps you don’t like eager, unusually strong, and adorable tradesmen who gladly offer their labour free of charge. Maybe you don’t like the tastiest cookies of all time, or hot cocoa, or Christmas for that matter.

Whatever the case, a job is a job, and as the leading professionals in the removal of all things monster-like and mythical, we’re here to help you.

If you’re looking to take some of the magic out of your life by ridding your property of elves, call us. We will humanely escort elves off your property and return them to the North Pole, Wyoming, Denmark, or wherever they desire.

Your Trusted Elf Removal Experts 

Elves have existed alongside forest creatures and fairies since the dawn of time. In some parts of the world, they busy themselves by working alongside Santa Claus—the Jeff Bezos of the North—in his massive industrial igloo. In other regions, they spend their days frolicking in the meadows or baking bread in the hollowed-out trunks of trees.

Though elves are generally well-intentioned, their fun-loving spirit can sometimes get them into a little bit of mischief. If they become too comfortable around a household, they might just pull one too many pranks on your family or raid your pantry of all the baking ingredients. If that has started to happen, then you know it is time to call us.

Would you like to learn more about our services? Are there any other mythological creatures creeping around your property? Contact us at your convenience.

Every Elf Must Go

If there are simply too many elves on your property and they don’t stop banging their cute little wooden hammers or singing their songs, we can restore your habitat to its natural way of being. Using only the finest crisp apples, leafy greens, and snowberries, we will lure the elves off your property and into our vans. We’ll wait until we are far away from your property to let them know they’re being returned to their natural habitat or their distant mischievous cousins (the Leprechauns) in Ireland. They are a rowdy bunch compared to the elves, but they’ll manage.

Elf-Proofing the Premises

After we’ve rid your property of these adorable creatures, we will elf-proof your humble abode. This means wiping away any trace of the things elves enjoy, such as nice music, tasty treats, and good cheer for at least several weeks. We will also advise against making snowmen or having snowball fights during this time. Our research has shown us that these little cuties can hear a snowball from 800 miles away. They simply can’t resist.

Contact the Monster Mashers Today

When a giddy group of elves transforms your toolshed into an Order Fulfillment Center for Christmas deliveries or a place to bake their cookies, breads, and other sweets for people near and far, there is only one team you need to call—and that is ours.

With great care, we will escort those elves off your property and elf-proof every access-point in sight. Call us today to request our around-the-clock services.