Looks can be deceiving—and so can monsters. That’s why we’ve compiled a list of some of the most frequently asked questions we get. If you think you may be in the midst of a monster encounter, scroll through our questions, and get the guidance you need to succeed.

If you need the advice of a trained monster slayer, don’t hesitate to get in touch with us today. We’ll be happy to answer any questions you may have before giving you a free estimate for the job.

Is my child playing with an invisible friend or a ghost?

It can be hard to tell whether a child’s invisible friend is imaginary or ghastly. That said, there are a few tell-tale signs of paranormal activity:

  • The friend has a human name your child likely didn’t make up
  • Your child is more withdrawn than usual
  • You or your child feel a chill—or sudden bursts of heat—when nearby
  • Your pet acts strangely around the invisible friend

My spouse is hairy. Are they a werewolf?

Hairiness is one sign of lycanthropy, but don’t kick your hirsute heartthrob to the curb just yet. A few stray hairs does not make them a werewolf. Your partner may just be a hairier-than-average person, or their body chemistry may be changing to cause extra hair growth.

If you’re still concerned about your partner’s hairy backside and what it might mean, here are a few other questions to ask yourself:

  • Do they eat extra-rare steaks?
  • Do they have an irregular sleep schedule?
  • Are they in bed during the full moon?
  • Do they exhibit any other bestial traits, such as howling, a domineering attitude, or a lack of etiquette?

If you said yes to any of the above, you may be dealing with a werewolf partner. Consult our experienced hunters for a full diagnostic assessment.

Are boogeymen made of boogers?

No. Contrary to popular belief, boogeymen are not made of boogers. Boogey comes from the Middle English bogge, meaning “something frightening,” or “scarecrow.” Bogge is also where we get our word bug. Hence the boogeyman’s closest relative is its ursine cousin, the bugbear.

A mosquito bit me. Am I a vampire now?

Unlikely. Though understudied, vampirism looks to be transmittable only between members of the same species. You can’t give it to your dog or your cat, for example. You shouldn’t worry about becoming a vampire from a mosquito bite. But you might want to worry about Zika and malaria.

What do I do if I see bigfoot?

Bigfoot is a natural predator, but rarely ventures outside its habitat. If you see bigfoot, back away. Slowly. And even if your innermost conscience begs you to document the experience, don’t. No one’s lived to tell the tale.

Can I keep a dragon as a house pet?

Dragons are incredibly intelligent and personable companions. But be warned: They rarely make good pets. Their long lifespan means they’ll most likely outlive you, and most will settle for nothing less than complete and total freedom. Feeding a dragon is also an enormous undertaking, requiring at least 3 herds of cattle a month at the wyrmling stage. Cunning by nature, they’re also quick to outsmart humans. Before you know it, you may be the dragon’s pet.

I never sleep, and I have weird cravings. Am I a zombie?

Zombiism can progress incredibly swiftly. One day you might feel fine, and the next, you’ve lost all capacity for speech and thought. If you have zombiism, it is paramount to catch it as soon as you notice even the slightest symptoms.

Unfortunately, the effects are irreversible, so you can’t be cured. But you can donate your body to science.

For Local Monster Hunting, Choose the Best in the Business

Choose Monster Mashers Inc.

Why wait? We know we are your best bet for removing those monsters. No job is too big or small for our team to tackle, and we’ve helped countless clients get the peace of mind they need to get on with their day-to-day life. We’re confident we can help you too.

Contact us today to get started.