Meet the Doomslaughters
The Doomslaughters are the name, face, and family behind Monster Mashers Inc. Descended from famed Dracula-slayer Prof. Abraham Van Helsing, the Doomslaughters have risen to prominence as one of the world’s most esteemed families of monster hunters. Though originally from Britain and the Netherlands, most of the Doomslaughter family has resided in the Southeastern United States.
Mad Max Doomslaughter
Max is the Chief Exterminator Officer of Monster Mashers Inc. From his home in Okeechobee, FL, he’s run the base of operations for nearly three decades. Unwavering in his role, he continues to break new ground and uncover new threats to human existence. His shrewd and inventive sense has led to countless industry innovations, including garlic-powder bombs and the use of stinky cheese against dragons.
Max’s proudest moment? “That time I done slammed my foot in that good-for-nothin’ baba yaga’s face. Straight in her two front teeths. I might could like to do that one more time.”
When off the clock, Max enjoys tending to his garden and caring for his horses. On Friday nights, he likes nothing more than to watch his favourite movie, How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days.
Andy Doomslaughter
If Max’s the brains of the operation, younger brother Andy is no doubt the muscle. Andy has been fighting monsters all his life, stretching back to his early days as a child when he found his first underpants gnome raiding his dresser. Since then, he’s been a staunch slayer committed to his craft.
As a monster hunter, Andy is known for his gung-ho and head-first approach. He never turns from a fight, no matter the odds, earning him the respect of friend and foe alike. He credits his unrelenting courage to his five divorces, each far more frightening than any monster conceivable.
When not at work, Andy likes to doff his armour, sheathe his sword, and catch up on YouTube unboxing videos. On the weekend, you can usually catch him enjoying a mani-pedi at the nail spa.
*By enlisting Monster Mashers Inc.’s services, you expressly acknowledge and agree that any and all supernatural ramifications of the monster attack are your sole responsibility. You, the client, assume the entire cost of all necessary repair for temporary or lasting structural defects and damage, such as, but not limited to, levitating homes, foundation displacement from portals to the underworld, fire damage from dragons, and blood, vomit, or excrement stains (monsters or human). Although the Doomslaughter family has been hunting monsters for centuries, there is no guarantee that Max and Andy have ever actually encountered one.
Over 500 Years of Monster Slaying
Monster Mashers Inc. is proud to be a family-owned operation in business now for over 500 years. We carry on a long tradition—established by generations of forebears—of protecting the world against the evils that lurk below, beneath, and beyond. From the ziggurats of Akkadia to the streets of Arcadia, we monster slayers have served as humanity’s most steadfast champions, ridding it of its most nefarious enemies. It’s a dirty job, and a thankless job. After all, relatively few know of our good deeds. But fame isn’t what got us in this line of work. We’re not in it for the recognition. We’re in it knowing we’re doing right by humanity.
We continue to push the monster-slaying industry in new directions. Combining state-of-the-art technology with ancient hunting techniques allows us to do our work in less time with less clean-up, and with more desirable outcomes for our clients. We look back, but we also think forward—constantly striving toward perfection.
Worried About Monsters?
Monster Mashers Is Here to Help
Discover what a difference 175 years of history and experience can make. Whether you have ghosts in the attic or skeletons in the closet, Monster Mashers Inc. is at your service.
To see what we can do for you, or to learn more about us, don’t hesitate to contact us today.